Morgan
Morgan, a Preemie Warrior
November 11th, 2022, I went in for a regular scheduled appointment. My blood pressure was high, so they sent me to the hospital for observation. Taylor was on call but with me at the appointment. We had a sweet friend as our ultrasound tech; little did we know this would be our last ultrasound. We went to the hospital, I was admitted, and I was placed under monitoring. Taylor went home and gathered some clothes to bring back, and we stayed the night.
November 12th, 2022, started our roller coaster ride…I was in the hospital taking blood pressure medicine and being monitored closely. By this time, we were unsure what the day held for us. Every 30 minutes to an hour, my BP was checked. The nurse came in and left, over and over for what seemed like forever. By this point, I've updated my parents, who are now (quickly) on the way to the hospital. Finally, the doctor came in and said, "Here's the deal - you are 33 weeks today; we are going to try to hold you to 37." You won't return to work, but hopefully, we can get you home and not have to keep you here. About an hour later, that turned into holding you to 34 weeks; that way, we can give you the second round of shots for her lungs (I had 2 shots, the first round the previous week). About an hour later, due to my blood pressure, it quickly turned to not eating anything after midnight. Her birthday will be tomorrow. I began eating my leftover lunch because nothing was sounding good initially. Routine time to check my BP. The nurse looks worried, walks out, returns with meds, and says I'll return in 10. He came back, checked my BP, still looked worried, took more meds, and I was told to stop eating. The doctor came in and said, "Looks like we are having a baby today."
We were told that my blood pressure was too risky to keep Morgan inside. Within an hour, we went from tomorrow to the next hour, and you'll have your baby. I was on a Magnesium drip and took about 10 different types of medicine. While everything was happening, all I could think was…can I go to the bathroom? By this time, my parents had been in the room with us, and Taylor's parents and brother were on the way. I went to the bathroom, where I cried hard, scared, and sad. Scared because I had no idea how serious this had become or why, and scared because I didn't know if Morgan would be ok or why my body was failing me. I was sad because I had maternity pictures booked for the week of Thanksgiving and now the future was so unclear for when photos would happen. Looking back, those pictures were the least of my worries in the grand scheme of things. I returned to the room filled with nurses, the on-call doctor, Taylor, and my parents. They prepped me to leave for a C-section. Dad prayed with us while we all held hands. My doctor prayed with us. They took me back and told Taylor to get dressed in the "dad gear" and that they would come get him.
I'm back in the OR, I received a spinal block while I was in the OR, and my nurse traveled with me. I wish I had written her name down. She was exactly the person I needed during this. At 5:30, close to shift change, you would have never known these people had been there for hours. They were so calming and reassuring. Taylor's parents arrived as he was about to walk back to me. Dr. Bennett delivered Morgan after making sure I couldn't feel anything. What happens next is something very few know about. I bottomed out on the table as soon as they took her from me. Taylor felt my hand release and watched me almost lifeless. Without our nurses telling us about Morgan, we had no idea what was going on with her. They got me back; we took quick pictures with Morgan (Thank you to whoever was taking photos on Taylor's phone for us) while Nurse Liz was holding her, and then they rushed her back to the NICU. Morgan was not breathing on her own. She required oxygen, so they took her back immediately to assess her. This was the start of our 54-day journey in the NICU. Naïve and new to the whole parenting world as well as the NICU, we were still planning to bring her home. The hardest day by far was being discharged without her, and for the first time, she was not just right down the hall. I held her on day 2 and not again until November 23rd. Taylor held her for the first time on November 20th.
Morgan was diagnosed with Bronchopulmonary Dysplasia (BPD). At first, her body struggled to comprehend that she needed to breathe on her own because she was born and no longer inside me. She started on a CPAP and then moved to a Nasal cannula; she was heavily sedated with fentanyl and also on antibiotics for pneumonia. The medicine they were giving her for her lungs was not working; after three rounds, they began looking into different options. They then moved her to a breathing tube, which she later pulled out, and they were able to step back down to a CPAP, but that wasn't enough flow, so they put her back on the nasal cannula. While all of this was going on, we were not able to stimulate her, which meant we couldn't hold her or even touch her while she was in the isolette. On Thanksgiving, she was able to wear her first outfit. On November 26th, she was able to move to her own room and an open bed.
On November 28th, she took her first bottle, and by December 4th, she took a whole bottle! On December 16th, she was able to have the feeding tube removed. Steroids were started, and she was given a nebulizer. By this point, her team had reached out to Children's Pulmonary because they could not pinpoint why she could not breathe on her own. December 26th, she finally came off of the oxygen. She was able to breathe on her own with little to no desaturations. On her due date, January 4th, we finally broke her out and brought her home. While we had to come home with medications, we were so thankful to not have to have oxygen. There were so many ups and downs and in-betweens, a true roller coaster ride. Morgan Lane, you are my greatest adventure, and God's timing is nothing short of perfect.
Morgan Lane's Life Verse:
Isaiah 41:10: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."